Ho Hum...

I want this so badly, yet I seem to be wanting to eat ALL the time!
I want KFC (which on a "normal" day, I wouldn't blink at!!!), chocolate, icecream, ANYTHING that my mind tells me I can't have!!
I dont want to think like this!!
I want everything to be accessible, I CAN eat WHATEVER I want...
but do I REALLY want it????!!!
If I REALLY want it, then have it in moderation!!!
Why do I need to buy a WHOLE chocolate cake and eat it???
It is soooo frustrating that I just want to cry!!
It was TTOM last week, and I skipped my weigh in, I feel like it was the wrong thing to do, but I dont think I could have coped with a gain that week.
Tomorrow is weigh in again, and mentally... I just dont think I am ready.....
I dont feel strong enough to do this... and I dont know how to make myself strong!!
I want to be strong!
I want to have goals!
I WANT to be thinner by May 5th!!
I am shaving my head, and the fatter I am, the worse it will look!!!!!!
*crys*
Why can't life be easy..